THE MYTH OF THE MILLION-DOLLAR DI$HRAG
By Susan Eisen
Reviewed by Barbara Wheat and Cynthia Unninayar
When we first reviewed this book at its publication three years ago, we knew that the topic was important, but little did we realize just how much it has helped people deal with the problems of inheritance. With successions a topical issue today, we spoke again with author Susan Eisen for an update and some additional tips for readers.
As a jewelry retailer in El Paso, Texas, Susan Eisen has heard just about everything related to family issues and crises over inheritance issues. “Most of the stories have happy endings, but some do not,” she says. “By far, the one thing that has affected me most in my life as a jeweler is how the jewelry and treasures my clients own have the power to change the future of their families. Hearing these stories compelled me to take this information and share it.” The problems Eisen describes are not always about valuable items. Many have to do with sentimental or emotional items that have no other tangible value. These examples are summed up in the first chapter of her book about a family who had done all the appropriate and necessary planning and had even made a “With Love List™” (an itemized listing of their most valuable and sentimental belongings) along with the loved one who was to inherit them. When the parents passed away and the four children settled the estate, clearly planned out ahead of time, all went well until they noticed the old faded dishrag that their mother had always used to wash the dishes. To them, it symbolized their mother and her love or them, and each child wanted it. No one was willing to give in. “Everyone needs to set a deadline to start the list,” Eisen says, “And the sooner the better so that each item can be photographed with the name of the person to inherit it on the picture itself. This doesn’t have to be fancy, just a clear designation of who the piece is intended for. This avoids any confusion in the future. The picture should then be kept with the other legal documents regarding the succession. It is an easy process and can be done in a couple of Sundays.” In the case of the old dishrag, the arguments turned to anger, then to attorneys, and finally to lawsuits over the previously appraised valuable” items. Two years later, the four children had collectively spent a million dollars fighting over the dishrag. The “million-dollar dishrag” had not only cost a fortune, it had destroyed a family, a family that would never be resurrected. “Thankfully, this story is fiction,” says Eisen, “but it is a cautionary tale for any family, and is based on a compilation of actual family tales that I have heard from my clients over the years.” “Everyday, clients tell me stories of heartbreak and sadness, envy and jealousy,” Eisen continues. “For example, just the other day, a woman came in with a ring, saying it was from her mother but then snidely added that her sister got the big diamond.’ There are other cases of second marriages where the husband gave the new wife his deceased wife’s jewelry, when the daughters thought they should have it.” But a treasured item is not always jewelry or artwork. Treasures can be purely sentimental. “A diary, an inexpensive watch that lawsuits over the previously appraised “valuable” items. Two years later, the four children had collectively spent a million dollars fighting over the dishrag. The “million-dollar dishrag” had not only cost a fortune, it had destroyed a family, a family that would never be resurrected. “Thankfully, this story is fiction,” says Eisen, “but it is a cautionary tale for any family, and is based on a compilation of actual family tales that I have heard from my clients over the years.” “Everyday, clients tell me stories of heartbreak and sadness, envy and jealousy,” Eisen continues. “For example, just the other day, a woman came in with a ring, saying it was from her mother but then snidely added that her ‘sister got the big diamond.’ There are other cases of second marriages where the husband gave the new wife his deceased wife’s jewelry, when the daughters thought they should have it.” But a treasured item is not always jewelry or artwork. Treasures can be purely sentimental. “A diary, an inexpensive watch that a parent always wore, or even an ice cream scoop, can hold tremendous sentimental value for someone,” adds Eisen. This is why she created the “With Love List™”, which guides the reader through a step-by-step process to determine items of financial value as well as emotional value, even if they might not seem like it at the time. Eisen says that most sales of the book have gone to customers who want it not only for themselves but to give to their parents. The book’s “how-to” approach is simple and concise. Eisen draws not only on her vast experience as a trained appraiser and gemologist—her expertise has been accepted by courts of law in cases dealing with the valuation of jewelry for bankruptcy, divorce, fraud, and most recently as an expert witness for jewelry patent infringement issues—but presents examples in an easy-to-read and understandable manner, with a “plan” that can be used to divide jewelry, art, and other heirlooms in family collections. Her approach to settling family inheritance issues enables parents, grandparents, children, and grandchildren to make wise decisions. Originally intended for her customers, the book is also being purchased by other retail jewelers who see it as a way to help their own clients when in comes to planning for inheritance. “The things you inherit are the only things that remind you of the person who dies other than the memories,” Eisen muses. “Why take a chance of having those things turn negative? People have the ability when alive to make things work out for their heirs. I believe that the most important thing people can do after raising children is dealing with the inheritance issue before they die.” “The Myth of the Million Dollar Dishrag” is available at both www.inheritanceexpert.com and www.susaneisen.com. |
Sue Eisen, owner of Sue Eisen Fine Jewelry and Watches, located in El Paso, Texas, and author of The Myth of the Million-Dollar Di$hrag.
The value of treasured items cannot always be measured in financial terms. Often, the value is emotional and sentimental.
As part of any inheritance plan, it is important to keep appraisals of valuable items up to date.
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